Changes of the tide

Almost a year ago now I almost lost my son. Another 11 days will mark when that possible loss occurred, and here we are, still struggling, but also still moving forward. Since that time life has been an impossible series of events that have left me in a state of constant change-changing how I approached my son, how to sell my house more quickly to get moved for his sake, change of how I handled my own health, every priority readjusted. These are just a few key items, ways that moved us forward. As such, I still tried writing and finishing Hail. Yet, I haven’t been able to do much of anything. I’m proud of what I have done, but I cannot, and have not been able to, put that at the forefront for completion. Instead, I’m taking a small break from finishing Hail-the pressure on myself for not having completed it yet, the pressure to write a single word further-to write something that is infinitely more precious to me, something that I pray will help other parents, family members, friends, loved ones. It’s outside of what I ever wanted to do as an author-seemingly my life story of how things go-I’m going to write a non-fiction based on what my family has been through, from my perspective. I’ve discussed this with my son, and he has given permission. I would not be undertaking this effort without it otherwise.

This will, undoubtedly, be difficult. Yet, I feel it’s what needs to be done. For those who have been waiting for Hail, I apologize for having to ask you wait a bit longer. What’s happened in my personal life started taking shape over many years, but the last two in particular have been the most grueling. If you can wait for this, wait for Hail, I promise to deliver.

I will ask for prayers, because my son needs it. I need it. Our family, immediate and extended, and friends need it. I am always praying, but always welcome those and well wishes/positive thoughts. All forms of positivity are readily welcomed.

8 of 12/2020

What a time to be alive, eh?! I was laid off from my job mid-June due to COVID-19 crippling my previous companies major projects group. That’s been a fun adventure of trying to find a new job, while home full time with both my kids (15yo male, 3yo-going on 4 this month-female), and I went ahead and started school again at University of Phoenix for my MBA! All positive things in that regard, just started this week and will finish up in 11 months. It’s a competency based program, geared for working students to utilize their previous, and current, working experience.

While 2020 has been an absolute chicken-coop-show of a year, there are some positives that have come out of all of this: time with my kids that I didn’t have before, I get to cook again (I love to cook)-trying new recipes and eating as a family is wonderful, though I will admit some nights are pizza or cereal here and there, I’ve applied myself to school once more after a Four Year Break (YIKES! Anxiety, anyone?! Hahahaha), being present for my kids in a way that was sparse before, and there are now Far more jobs available and Search Options to work REMOTELY-this is the best for me personally and career wise! My daughter will be watched by my sister-whom I will be paying, she has FOUR BOYS, all about 2 years apart, 7 (going on 8) and under. She’s a BOSS. It’s also been really nice to take my kids to the pool-it’s been pretty empty at our neighborhood pools, and we’re all getting tans! And by tans I mean…I’ve gotten a little golden, and my kids have gotten true tans xD! CHEATERS I SAY! Hahaha, both my kids with their Native American Indian blood out-tanning me, seems wrong!…but I’m glad they don’t burn like I do.

Now, positives in line, there are some negatives, as everyone is experiencing. I get pennies for unemployment, and had to get Cobra to retain my insurance. It costs $1700 a month to retain our insurance-Obamacare is absolute SHIT in case you had not yet experienced that debacle. That hurts, considering how little I get from unemployment-it just barely costs covering my insurance. Thankfully I had things in place to cover us for several months, but there will be a price to pay for that later on. Writing. I honestly thought I would be able to write So Much More! I was Ecstatic-how much writing I figured I could execute! Lord help me, how wrong I was. My daughter is incredibly demanding of my time, I spend my time at night to enjoy a little peace and quiet, and when she’s gone to visitation that’s when I knock out things I have to take care of in the home!

Now, I added school to the mix, but even though I have that plate overflowing once more-and I’m interviewing for jobs-I have still been thinking about Hail on the daily. My plans for the story are still in line with what I originally planned, but there has been one aspect that has been fluid in regards to how I want to handle it…well, two. So, while I have been distracted, not able to write as I so desired and believed, I have used the time to better form what I want in the latter part of the book. It’s also given me a chance to fully flesh out the first half which I am getting close to finishing up. What I need to do is utilize my career skills-I need to utilize my planning and scheduling ability to organize myself and my time, and pray it works out well enough! Set aside time for school and writing, respectively, every evening. It’s a problem I know every author struggles with-just sitting down, opening the documents, and WRITING. I hate that it’s taken me this long to write this book, but I will finish writing Hail. No matter what it takes.

Review time! The Guardians Crest by Michael Chrobak

Finished up The Guardians Crest by Michael Chrobak! Review Here! Can also read below😉!

Michael Chrobak has a way with bringing you, the reader, to finding the beauty and wonders of faith. I find the topics he takes head-on to be prevalent, no matter your age, though he does utilize his written works to reach the youth, especially. That being said, I’m a mid-30’s woman, and I truly appreciate what he’s been building through these books, and look forward to what’s to come!

Minor spoilers ahead!

Let’s start with the first half of this book: it’s a look into the Guardians, but particularly Thomas’ sister Julianna. The insight to the different Guardians was something I really enjoyed, and you get to find how all the stories begin to tie together, forming the intricate pattern that is the Guardian’s story. I did have some points that I have mentioned in previous reviews, where it seemed to be a bit disconnected to how youth acts and behaves in today’s society, but I will say when you understand the Guardian’s, you understand why they are the chosen ones. Still, there are pieces that were a little hard to digest. At one point there is a party for a friend who has reached “young lady” status, and at her birthday party, the girls are said to be wearing 4-INCH HEELS! I was like-wait, what?! At the young, fresh age these girls are at not ever would you see them wearing 4-inch heels. As a grown woman, even in my 20’s, that was a rare occasion, and only because I’m so short and my dresses hid those the whole five times I wore them. This is not a norm for any girl in their early teen years, let alone finding heels that high in the sizes they should be wearing in general would be almost impossible. There were some details that were obviously avoided just for the fact it made the scenes easier, and allowed the story to flow in the required direction-such as a seemingly major lack of adult supervision/involvement. However, those points aside, I loved the first half’s insight that was otherwise missing. Your heart will hurt, hope will rise, and it all leads well into the second half of the book, which picks up where the second book left off.

The second half of this book: it was a lot of fun. Action packed, but also pulled a little at the heartstrings. You will feel the confliction of the characters as they happen, and understand why these things are happening. Why the struggle is real, and that as we are as people without any spiritually powers/gifts would see both sides of said struggle. While coming out of one spiritually realm, and visiting another, and then another, it’s intriguing to get the provided insight to the individuals. I wonder if the next book(s) will delve any further into all the other Guardian’s realms! This book, too, is left on a cliff hanger, even more exciting than the last, but I definitely approved if this one more than the last! Not a complaint against the last, just a matter of what you’ll be lead up to, and wondering how it will all come together. Now, minor things I found-more grammatical errors than expected was an issue for me (I’m a grammar freak, and this happens, falls back on the editor and proof reading in my eyes *shrug*). Some of the speech patterns overlapped with multiple characters, but that didn’t bother me too much, as I think it is found easily that a certain group, or coupling, of people will have a habit of duplicating speech patterns/phrases. However, it was repetitive at times, and still something that should be watched a little more carefully-I will say it’s difficult when trying to manage a Multitude of character’s as what’s being done here, so I feel it was still a valiant effort applied, and it did not detract from my joy of reading!

Kudos to Mr. Chrobak for a fantastic job! I can’t wait for the next book to come!

Review & News: The Monster of Selkirk Book VI The Wrath of Silence

I finished reading C. E. Clayton’s The Monster of Selkirk Book VI: The Wrath of Silence, below is my review!

If you have not read this series, Do It NOW! Loved it. Wonderful read!

Now onto some news…I hit 50K today in my writing! Finally! HAH! Also, I signed up for school again-starting back in August for my MBA, and should have a job by the end of July -^_^-! I was laid off during all this COVID-19 insanity, but not to fret. All is well. Managed to get both my children’s surgeries handled, my daughter’s revision of the original surgery (herniated belly button-got infected 😦 ), and moving ahead in life. I’m loving what I’m writing, and so happy to be moving onto my next read: Brother Thomas and the Guardians of Zion The Guardians Crest by Michael Chrobak! It’s WELL overdue for me to read it, just so much has happened in my personal life this year, and over the last 8 months now, I wasn’t sure how I’d get anything done! Not expecting to take nearly as long to read this as I did Clayton’s work, but that was not the books fault-it was definitely mine (and life, curse you 2020!). Who is ready to move forward?

The 50K Mark: My Passion

So close, getting there, just 3k words short of the 50k mark! Well, a little less than 3k, but no matter :)! I’m so excited, I’ve gotten it rolling again and it feels so good! I’m excited to finish this first section of the book-there will be three. Past, Present, and Closing. This first section may be longer than I anticipated, but there is so much I want to ensure I cover, and so much to come! It’s imperative all these pieces are properly in place so when it’s completed no questions remain.
I’m not sure about other writers but when I write, it’s like I’m there in that moment. I’m each character feeling and enabling, letting them set the pace. Yes, I am a very descriptive writer, but that’s how I love to read, as well! To be immersed in that other world is something special, and that can happen with almost any level of description. I Love To Write. I LOVE to read! Reading and writing is the window into the author’s soul and experiences, their personal view points and the outside view they craft of others. Sometimes it’s what they take from other people-what they’ve described as seeing. It’s being open minded and not be closed off from different perspective, even when they may contradict a personal belief. Writing is an opportunity to shed light on why there are differences in opinions, shifting and crossing the lines to understand. Both are like breathing, I couldn’t survive without either.


Good Lord, where to even begin! It’s all been so much, too much honestly. 2020 has been an absolute nightmare for everyone, so I’m not alone in this regard. For my job that pays the bills, I’m being laid off. My last day is approaching quickly, but I do have some irons in the fire, so to speak. Gotten both my kids surgeries they needed before losing my insurance, and for the fact I was given advance notice from my current company of what was to come, I’m thankful. The panic I feel, though, is unbelievable. I’ve gotten medicine for myself to manage the stress and anxiety, and it’s working wonderfully. It only took trying two medications prior to the one I knew worked before my doctor gave me what I requested-what has worked for my other family members and had a higher success rate…Yeah, it’s like that. I ended up so sick, thought I was going to need surgery, come to find out, my doctor missed the results with the answers, and I suffered unnecessarily for three weeks -_-.

These are difficult times, as everyone is well aware of-the media is all over the place focusing on the Violent Riots, Arson, Looting, and other criminal acts. That is not in memorial to George Floyd, that is not justice. It’s bad people committing terrible crimes in the name of a Murdered man. Shameful. While what’s going on does need to be covered, proof is being tossed in of the major news networks using fake images and false reports to essentially stir the pot. Not enough good is being identified, and peaceful protests are happening-those are good. Those, that bring people together, are the most important. Hate begets hate, always, and is taught, not inherited. My heart breaks for my friends, for those impacted.

That’s life, that’s personal. Writing, I’ve finally been picking it back up and moving along. I’ve had time, sort of, but my full time job has been to find another that can give me insurance for my kids, and myself. I’ve had distractions, to be sure. I played FFXIV online for a while, but just deleted it today, cancelled the account. Feeling some bitterness towards myself for letting a distraction like that get in the way of my writing! Maybe somewhat needed, but it was more frustrating than anything.

Reading, that helps me refocus on my writing.

Moving, Corona, and Pandemic – Also, Blizzard eBook Free 1 Week!

Has it been that long since I last posted? Yes, indeed, it has. Crippling life situations, all Prior to COVID-19 crash landing on US shores. I sold my house, bought a new one, got moved, and reno’ed the new place. It’s been the equivalent of my life, a series of mentally and emotionally violent and traumatizing experiences. The things that prompted this move and these changes is still an ongoing battle, and it always will be. That’s the scary/hard part. I’ve taken Short-Term Disability Leave from work to try and deal with all that’s gone on, but I took it at one helluva time! My last day in office, before the STDL began, was Friday, March 13th. Friday the 13th. I suppose that should have been my first clue! Hahaha Irony at it’s finest!

This time off was meant for me to get mentally and emotionally well again, to give my body a chance to get right, as well. Instead, schools locked down pretty much immediately, and here we are with Shelter in Place. I’m thankful that it’s there, found my little Nugget’s heart has not gotten better. She has ASD, she had two holes-1-9mm and 1-3mm, have combined are gotten slightly larger to 13.5mm. And here came Corona virus, like a battering ram. I have to worry about every cold my daughter gets because of her heart, she has excess blood. This means even with regular colds she can easily get pneumonia. Then this. It feels like a “FML” moment. That aside, I was planning on working on my last book, Hail. Planning, key word. Both kids are home, and there is no writing. There are walks through the neighborhood, movies, homeschooling, trying to keep the family together and separate at different times. Still, I’m thankful. I have a home with heat and a/c, I have a pantry, fridge, and freezer filled with groceries, running water, internet, electricity, and basic comforts. I’m afraid, though. Because people are running around, flocking to beaches and parties.

So here we are, in the time of natural selection. Where the process of elimination will take root, but who else will be impacted by these imbeciles? Italy and Spain have had near, or at/over, 1k PEOPLE DYING DAILY. China is most certainly lying, still. What can any one person do? I pray, I keep my family safe at home, I get us out on family walks (bike ride for my toddler), and do everything I can to maintain some form of normalcy.

For my writing, I’ll have to start securing time late at night to write, take advantage of my 6 week STDL while I can. Perhaps it will help me, too, to feel some iota of normalcy. I’ve also been working on my Thomas Kinkade (Disney Beauty & the Beast) puzzle. I love doing my puzzles, very therapeutic.

All that aside, Blizzard’s eBook will be FREE starting WEDNESDAY! April 1st-5th! What better time to catch up on reading and writing?!


Truth moment: I have been playing Animal Crossing Island and started Zelda: Link’s Awakening two days ago…I should be able to beat it tonight! Hahahaha I’m sorry, not sorry. It’s helped me some. Do what you must!


Let me tell you a secret. Time misses not a single beat, it counts down and refuses to miss a moment. As we may struggle through these storms that tear apart our hopes, plans, dreams, homes, and feelings…time continues to nick away at our mental stability with each breath. It is the thing we do not understand and as such, many fear. A month and a half has passed since I last wrote, picked some up today. Right at the cusp of closing out the first half of Hail. 
I almost lost my son in that time, could have lost my older brother, too. My younger brother has joined the service, and in a week me and my chitlins will be moved into our new home. The job that pays my bills has been filled with so many highs and lows I’m wondering how I managed to get onto this roller coaster. How do you remain steadfast in your faith? When I believe I’ll finally break, when it’s impossible to take any more strain, that’s when I find the core of my faith, and God has never failed me here. There are plenty of things I wish I could do better, so many I’m working to improve. Yet, same as when I wrote the first and second book, same is with everything else in my life, all things come in due time. Just as they are meant to happen, when they are meant to happen. You cannot rush life, love, nor time. 

Take a breath.

Life measured in teaspoons

I have to admit, I’ve been receiving the brunt of life by the gallon-ful, and I’ve been drowning. I’m working on taking smaller portions, by the teaspoon as the title states.

My son has been sick, in the hospital over the holidays, and needing my attention/care more than before. At one point he almost didn’t make it, and it was the most horrifying thing to experience. To understand how close that loss was, no parent should ever experience. My older brother, as well, was sick, though in a different way. Thankfully, by the Grace of GOD my son is still here with us, and so is my older brother, and I have been doing everything I can to ensure a better future is ahead for my little family. I’ll be getting the shots I need for my migraines, I’m avoiding brain surgery for now – though I have had more symptoms crop up – and thanking God for the many more blessings that have granted to me and mine.

My house has a buyer, I found a house, contracts on each, and moving ahead! Should be moving early-ish February, and so thankful that we’re landing where we have!

Now, all this news I’m breaking today means I have not been able to write. At all. I even had to stop my reading sprint. I will be getting back at it ASAP! I need it, I have so much I want to write, especially after I reached that pivotal point in the book! Everything is moving along, just not how I expected. Is it ever, though?

One day I’ll share more on all that has transpired, for now, hold those you love dear close. Offer to be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and know you are Valued, Needed, and Wanted in this life. You never know who you will meet, or whose life you will change or impact. You never know that you can make the difference between someone having a family a year from now, keep them on the path to saving someone else’s life. And you will never be able to put a number on the lives that can be impacted and influenced with one simple, kind gesture. Each of us is here for a reason, even when things are hard and painfully, keep hope. Keep faith. God is working through you in mysterious ways.

The Monster of Selkirk: Book V The Spark of Divinity Review

Oh sweet lands I read the book (finally) all the way through, and could not be happier! Follow the link below to see what I had to say, though I did not reveal anything as I want future readers to give this series a-go on their own. No doubt they will find the action, love, and adventure that I did hypnotizing!
The Spark of Divinity (The Monster of Selkirk, #5)
by C.E. Clayton (Goodreads Author)

Mikayla Elliot‘s review
Dec 23, 2019  ·  edit
it was amazing
Where do I even begin? I’m such a fan of C. E. Clayton’s works at this point, it’s hard to not gush about Book V, The Spark of Divinity, in The Monster of Selkirk series! Enthralled, enamored, so Much Action! It is a swift ride with so many elements moving within I’m honestly floored. If I can produce something even Half as good as what Clayton has given in this series, I could die a happy writer! There is love and loss, scores old and new to be settled, and in interesting turn that is unexpected. I love how the characters each have their different levels of understanding, individual roles, yet each knows they need one another without a doubt. It’s a bond of love and family beyond that of blood ties, all while incorporating political games that painfully believable. Excellent transition of chapters, and just the right amount of happiness to keep the reader readily engaged.

Book VI, here I come!

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