Good Lord, where to even begin! It’s all been so much, too much honestly. 2020 has been an absolute nightmare for everyone, so I’m not alone in this regard. For my job that pays the bills, I’m being laid off. My last day is approaching quickly, but I do have some irons in the fire, so to speak. Gotten both my kids surgeries they needed before losing my insurance, and for the fact I was given advance notice from my current company of what was to come, I’m thankful. The panic I feel, though, is unbelievable. I’ve gotten medicine for myself to manage the stress and anxiety, and it’s working wonderfully. It only took trying two medications prior to the one I knew worked before my doctor gave me what I requested-what has worked for my other family members and had a higher success rate…Yeah, it’s like that. I ended up so sick, thought I was going to need surgery, come to find out, my doctor missed the results with the answers, and I suffered unnecessarily for three weeks -_-.
These are difficult times, as everyone is well aware of-the media is all over the place focusing on the Violent Riots, Arson, Looting, and other criminal acts. That is not in memorial to George Floyd, that is not justice. It’s bad people committing terrible crimes in the name of a Murdered man. Shameful. While what’s going on does need to be covered, proof is being tossed in of the major news networks using fake images and false reports to essentially stir the pot. Not enough good is being identified, and peaceful protests are happening-those are good. Those, that bring people together, are the most important. Hate begets hate, always, and is taught, not inherited. My heart breaks for my friends, for those impacted.
That’s life, that’s personal. Writing, I’ve finally been picking it back up and moving along. I’ve had time, sort of, but my full time job has been to find another that can give me insurance for my kids, and myself. I’ve had distractions, to be sure. I played FFXIV online for a while, but just deleted it today, cancelled the account. Feeling some bitterness towards myself for letting a distraction like that get in the way of my writing! Maybe somewhat needed, but it was more frustrating than anything.
Reading, that helps me refocus on my writing.